Saturday, April 29, 2006

complete or incomplete

people are always searching for something in life. it can be true close friends, love and warmth for family, success or even a simple break from work. during this process, they may have gained valuable experiences or lost their values. i am not interested with the process but why the conquest for it?

it gives them a sense of accomplishment because without it, they find that they have not tried their best in life yet. we all want to live a life with no regrets so why not get have a go and see how things work out right? it brings pride and honour not only to the achiever and also to everyone surrounding him. imagine the perfect picture of you being surrounded by thousands of reporters, voice recorders, cameras and lights which are eager to capture your moment and relatives and friends, from far and near, showering you with well wishes, hoping to share your glamour. however does it really make you feel complete?

i have been searching for the something for the past few years after i have become sensible. i dont know what is it that i ought to have or do in order to live my life with no regrets. after knowing more people from wider age range and different backgrounds, i start to feel sad for them and myself. behind all the hard work they have put in, they have sarcificed an equal or more in life. their families and friends maybe grumbling but they hold on tight to what they want in life and continue to fight on. as for myself, i cannot say i have achieved much as compared to them. i still cannot support myself financially and one thing for sure is my parents are still protecting me from danger. so independence is definitely out of the picture! i feel so tiny standing beside them. however, i want it to motivate me further. i want to make a name for myself after i officially graduated from school in the industry i will be working in the future. this could be the something i am seeking.

"knowing myself better hurts"

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